Hey family, we have this week’s updates ready for you, but first I’d like to talk to you about something my father told when I was around 9 years old. I remember my dad talking to me about getting into fights and how if I followed his advice I would never loose a fight.
Interestingly, even after listening to my dad’s advice I got beat up in a fight so I dismissed his sage advice. However, I am going to share that advice with you and share what I learned and how 30 years later the advice my father gave me ended up being right after all!
He said:
Boy, if you are in the right, you will never loose a fight!
My father wasn’t a man of many words, he is a retired vet who fought in Vietnam as well as life long martial artist in his own right.
What I discovered through my own practice of Wing Chun and Tai Chi, to get the internal side of those martial arts to work for you, you have to be blameless. In other words, you can’t be the person instigating the fight. Part of this is so you never reveal your intentions to your opponent.
The fascinating thing about human beings is our body language reveals a lot about us. What this means is if you are harboring anger, vengeance, hostility, etc,, then you are internally manifesting thoughts & feeling via your body language.
One of the things you learn through internal martial arts training is how to control your emotions. Once you have your own emotions in check, you can then read your opponents intentions and they won’t be able to read yours.
It will help you to be able to read people in general better, when you don’t allow your emotions to rule you. For this aspect of training to work for you, you really must have a peaceful heart that isn’t seeking trouble.
If you are 100% blameless that frees your mind to listen to what’s going on around you. The thing is if you are only focused on your own emotions (which is what most people do), then you cannot hear what your opponent is saying to you, because you are too busy listening to yourself.
“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.” – Sun Tzu
Looking back on my father’s advice, I realize now that if someone picks a fight with me, it’s only because they started the fight. This means they are revealing themselves to me through their body language and the sound of their voice. They are so focused on themselves that they will not expect what I am going to do, because I will remain calm and listening.
It’s like having the high ground on a battlefield. The secret to using internal martial arts to your advantage is not wanting to fight in the first place.
And this works in all interactions with people, you will be surprised at what you can learn and how you can improve your life, if you leave the opinions and emotions behind and listen more.
Now back to me getting beat up even after my dad told me his advice. I didn’t start the fight, so I was in the right. However, I did want to beat him up. I was angry and tense. I was focused on feeling embarrassed in front of people. I was scared I was going to lose and be made fun of. My ego and pride was all in the wrong.
Basically I wasn’t calm in my spirit. I was trying to win. Did you know that when you are feeling energy you can feel someone trying to win? I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve had someone say to me, “How did you know I was going to do that?” My reply is always, “Because I can feel you wanting to do that to me.”
Bonus training exercise: Next time you are in a public place with lots of people, observe people without an opinion. Just take notice of their posture and body language, then in your mind label people as a friendly or a threat. Also, when you are talking to strangers take note in your mind how that person’s energy makes you feel.
Energy speaks to us, if we would just listen.
In this way you will start building your internal listening skill set which will help you in Kung Fu and life.
Now on to your training…
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Happy Training,
Sifu Larry Rivera
& The Enter Shaolin Family
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Thanks Larry.
Good lessons.
Thanks Rafa!
Superb article…bravo!!
Thanks John!
Good day Sifu Larry,
Just want to thank you for the beautiful insight.You know what I got beat up also almost the same age as you when i was a kid.Since I saw your videos with Sifu Phu..I’ve been practicing it and now it’s part of my life…i love kung fu.I’m so happy that you send me those insight eventhough I’m not yet a member.The knowledge I’ve learned and gain from you..from Sifu Phu and the entire family of Enter Shaolin I will also pass it to my children.And recommend it to my friends and families who also love kung fu.
Thanks a lot and more power to you Sifu Larry…Sifu Phu and to the entire Enter Shaolin Family.
Hi Ramil, that’s so nice of you to say. I am glad you are enjoying our content. We have some cool stuff coming your way soon 🙂
Good day Sifu Jamie,
I want to thank you for everything…without you we will never get a chance to learn,study and understand kung fu online.I love kung fu eversince I was a kid but my question was how I can learn it.
Im so glad with your beautiful ideas…your vision…these all happen.Thank you for sharing it to us.
Thank you so much Ramil! I appreciate and except your kind words and compliments. 🙂
I am also so happy that everything has fallen into place and the beautiful vision I started seeing back in 2009, just keeps getting bigger. We have so much more planned for everyone here at Enter Shaolin. I am looking forward to making everyone’s Kung Fu journey more accessible and fulfilling. It was that strong desire to learn Kung Fu as a little girl that kept the dream alive!
I am so happy you are able to be a part of our Kung Fu journey brother!
Very wise indeed. I have been studying body language for many,many years. I would say it actually started when I played football, and feeling energy helped with wrestling. The body language reading helped a lot when reading a offensive line, where as feeling the energy helped when figuring out how my wrestling opponent was going to move on the matand where I could take advantage.
Thanks for sharing that story Michael, a good friend of mine played football in elementary school, high school and college. He had said to me he wished he understood energy better when he was playing football because then nobody would be able to tackle him.
Larry I really liked what you said about controlling our emotion and being calm on the inside. That’s real control of our energy and not just for martial arts but all aspect of our lives. I’m more successful at work when I’m in an emotionally calmer state.
Hi Steven, there isn’t much in life we actually have control over. Isn’t it awesome that at least we can control our emotions?
Thanks for commenting!
Thanks for sharing your humaness!
You’re welcome thanks for reading 🙂
I appreciate your father’s wisdom and how you are able to relate it to our listening skills and the skills of internal listening; through this sage, I had to acknowledge that we have an internal form of listening: the body language, tone, unspoken word which speaks so loudly. Thank you for sharing this with us, it’s an important part of our training.
You’re welcome Valonda!
Thank you for sharing this internal approach to life. To many people and to often are driven today by external attractions and impressions of the world around us…while internal reasonable mind is not present…
Also your story about calm mind reminded me saying of one master who said, that calm mind is like the surface of the calm lake, like a mirror, can reflect and show everything around it…calmer the mind, more you can see…
Hi Witalis, ya in today’s society people are so buys running around and doing stuff that they don’t take time to stop and really feel the world around them.
Thanks for commenting!