Hey family, how are you? I hope you are doing well!
The past month and a half has been hectic here, between planning a funeral for my mom, to planning a seminar, to grieving, to everyday life as a single mom and a business owner who also has to find time take care of herself mind/body/soul, etc., etc… Life can feel like a whirlwind sometimes.
The constant theme for my whole life whether my own personal downfalls or others, is in it all you have to be willing to love yourself enough to ask for help when you need it and change when necessary to grow and to be in less pain, all so you can show up and be more in this life.
The reality is so few of us are willing to love ourselves enough to heal. Most people instead of choosing love, choose to try and mask the pain. Maybe their drug of choice is food, alcohol, prescription and/or non prescription drugs, sex, gambling, etc., etc.
People choose many ways to numb the pain out.
But what happens when a person chooses to keep numbing the pain? They never heal and often times not only do they not heal, the wound feasters and starts manifesting into new illnesses, addictions, pains, etc. For some this is a wakeup call and for others they just work harder to attempt to bury the pain.
For a loved one to see their parent, sibling, spouse, child, friend, etc. in pain is hard enough, but imagine seeing that person not just in pain, but also in self-destruct mode, not allowing themselves to help them or anyone else… In short it sucks. And the reality is you can’t help someone that refuses to allow themselves to be helped.
That was my mom. She tried to bury the pain, tried to pretend it was not there except when she was drunk and it came out like a raging, hurt lion or a broken down little girl depending on the moment. But face the truth when sober? Nope, she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t love herself enough to admit her pain or to admit the things she wished she or others hadn’t done, and because she couldn’t face her personal pains and demons, she couldn’t heal and couldn’t live to her fullest potential.
She had so many people willing to help her, but she clung to the person that was her poison instead, the person that enabled her “demons”, that entertained them, that helped to numb the pain, instead of heal the “demons” and heal the pain.
On the flip side, she had talked herself into numbing the pain, avoidance and choosing denial in order to not have to face her problem. It was her way of thinking she was being self-preserving, but instead it would be the end of her aka self-destructing.
So why this post today? Because I see a lot of people including loved ones close to me and people they love choosing to numb themselves out in attempt to bury the pain, the problems, etc. and it’s not working. My mom died at 54, because she refused to love herself enough to face her problems head on. And I see a lot of people doing that.
Sure one day we are all called home, but why speed that up by choosing to create your own personal hell on this Earth?
Heck we’ve all done it to ourselves before. Have you ever heard of that saying, ‘You are your own worst enemy.’? It doesn’t always have to be so obvious as someone being a drug addict or alcoholic, etc. Sometimes it’s knowing your body is hurting and not being willing to change your diet to heal it, or letting other people’s words discourage you to the point you lose your self-esteem and never give anything your all. Plus the many variations inbetween. Or past experiences from loved ones letting you down or hurting you permeating into your current relationships, because you never healed and let go of your baggage.
But none of these things have to be that way, none of our past or even current circumstances have to hold us hostage. They only do when we allow them to. They only do when we don’t love ourselves enough to heal, can’t forgive ourselves or others and so on. Nothing can take you or your mind hostage, unless you give it permission to.
If we are all honest, there is something if not somethings that we have been trying to ignore or burry deep that is holding us back, mind, body and/or spirit. Our time here on this Earth is fleeting, why live in more pain and hurt than we have to? Why hold ourselves and others back? (Yes, when you hold back from being your best, you are holding others around you hostage too!)
You already have everything you need around you right now to be more and do more. You just have to love yourself enough to make the changes. I personally don’t want to see another person I love die before their time because they were too childish or selfish to handle their baggage, too unwilling to love themselves, too stubborn to change, etc.
I will do everything in my power to shine my light, to follow my own advice, to be a beacon of change and hope. I won’t be able to help every person I come across, because not everyone will choose to want to receive or hear my message or any others that challenge the status quo about healing and wellness. But I am okay with that!
I do know that by being my best and choosing to heal my past traumas, I will help more people than if I don’t. I will inspire more to help themselves and love themselves. Maybe I couldn’t save my mom, or my ex-husband or, or… None of that is for me to decide, nor will I beat myself up for those that refused to help themselves or to take the help that was right in front of their face.
I will instead feel blessed for those that I do get to help, maybe I know them, maybe I haven’t met them yet, and some I may never know. But I do know that I refuse to not help those that are willing and I can’t help them, without helping myself first. By shining my light at its brightest, I can and will it inspire the willing to do the same. It’s a chain effect, love more, be more and you will indeed do more. 🙂
There are going to be a lot of posts on healing, which I know many of you have been waiting for. Please excuse me for taking so long to get to this point. It’s something I know that needed to be done, but I let other priorities get in the way, when indeed healing is the most important one.
Before we get to the replay of the week, I leave you with this that was inspired by a talk with one of my loved one’s recently. Enjoy!
Life doesn’t have to be as hard on us as we often make it. Our Creator has gifted us with so many ways to heal ourselves, mind, body and spirit.
Often our mind is our worst enemy and what we feed it is why it turns on us so easily. What media are you consuming? What music? What books are you reading? What tv programming, movies, etc.?
What thoughts and beliefs do you have about yourself?
Often what many choose to feed on isn’t medicine but rather poison.
What are you feeding your mind and body?
It’s imperative you choose to love yourself enough to give yourself the best.
Don’t be so stubborn that you choose to harm yourself and shorten your already fleeting days just because you think you can’t learn new ways.
You can do anything you set your mind to, you already have everything you need right here, right now to be your best and feel your best.
You just have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired and in that moment in an instant change will occur and your mind & body will be ready to learn & grow. Your spirit will thank you and leap with joy!
Everything is waiting for you to decide to show up.
You can do it. Love you enough to say yes to your best days yet.
Love more. Be more. Do more.”
Jamie Ann Pelaez
2/7/18 12:42pm EST
My first installment on herbs that help heal stress and depression will be this upcoming week. I will be covering the herb lemon balm. I hinted to some more herbs I will be covering as well as lots of content on ways to overcome stress and depression here.
Now on to your webinar replays of the week….
Watch Tuesday’s 9pm EST Kung Fu Q&A Webinar Replay:
Watch Friday’s 11am EST Kung Fu Q&A Webinar Replay:
Enter Shaolin | Tai Chi Seminar Update
Your Free Training Hall Video Of The Week:
(ACCESS LEVEL: ALL)
What’s New In The Training Hall This Week:
(ACCESS LEVEL: Junior, Senior and Abbot)
I pray this post and the ones to come bless you and your loved ones immensely. If it has inspired you or you want to share some of your healing journey, let us know in the comments section below! Also, please feel free to share this with anyone via social media, text or email that you know this information can help. Thank you in advance!
Peace, Blessings & Happy Training,
Sije Jamie Pelaez
& The Enter Shaolin Family
Edward Anthony says
Reading this reminds me of a decision I’ve recently come to. Yes, you should be self-aware and honest enough with yourself when see something about yourself that needs to change, and make that change, but at the same time, don’t beat yourself up.
There are plenty of outside forces that are more than willing to do that (berate, belittle, etc.) for you, there’s no need to do it to yourself.
Sije Jamie Pelaez says
Congratulations Edward! Yes, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up, but most people are and that is the point of what I was saying. That’s how most people get these bad habits, addictions, making poor choices, negative self-talk, etc. They aren’t loving themselves enough to heal, so instead they are proverbially and sometimes literally beating themselves up. We must love ourselves enough to take impeccable care of ourselves, to give ourselves grace but also be willing to take action to self-correct when need be and love ourselves enough to choose more. 🙂
Alain G says
Great webminar’s as usual!
Sije Jamie Pelaez says
Thank you brother, glad you enjoyed them!